What to Say in a First Online Dating Message

All these fashionable blogs are screaming today: «Searching love with one click of your mouse», «…dating sites and applications work for real», «just losers stay alone». Such and other slogans affect people differently. Some people of the old school are surprised facing them on social networks. They prefer the traditional way of meeting singles on streets or at the parties.

On the contrary, teenagers and so-called members of a new school choose online dating. They use various applications for singles:

  • Mamba
  • Badoo
  • LovePlanet
  • Tinder

They also enjoy meeting people and chatting on social networks as Instagram, Facebook and other modern platforms. Communication online usually has a lot of advantages including international dating (an opportunity to meet people you would never meet in real life, to find out more about traditions of other cultures and differences in mentalities), fewer effort requirements and an interest from both sides. Besides, it is not that stressful to write a message comparing to a conversation with a person you like in real life.

Choose a Communication Tool

So, how to start messaging with anyone and what to say in a first message? Primarily, you should choose a tool you will use for the achievement of your goal. The privilege of dating applications in comparison to dating websites is a free system. Although, there are more changes to find a future wife or husband exactly on dating sites because users there indicate which type of relationship they want to have. Deciding which partner you want is also an important thing. For easier usage, it is recommended to use special searching filters that include age, nationality, the language of communication, and many others.

Start Communicating

The next step is starting chatting. «What to say in a first message online dating» is one of the most popular requests on Google. First of all, you should be nice to a person you are writing to and make no pressure. It is better to start your message with a short introduction or a general phrase like «Hi, I found your profile and like it. Don’t you mind to get acquainted with me?». Remember, the following success of communication depends on conversation starters when you think what to say in first message to a girl on a dating site.

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A question «what to say in the first message to a girl» was discussed and answered for hundred times. Guys often lose chances to get acquainted with great and beautiful ladies because of the leak of words. This is a real problem for a strong half of humanity. Also, guys are frequently afraid to fail, and that is why they are scared to write first. The easiest way to start communication on Instagram is to follow a girl and write to direct or answer a story. Such a way you can show that you are interested, but there is no reason to upset getting no response.

How to Write a Great First Message

An online dating first message makes the first impression and to help you not to become perplexed, there are some tips for providing successful chatting.

#1 Be Polite

According to a social survey, for most girls, it is important to feel that an interceptor respects them and the usage of abbreviated forms or not censored expressions repel them. Starting communication with a new person, try to avoid words-parasites, dialects, specific words, casual phrases, and slang. There are examples of specific signs that you should not use while chatting with a new person: «2Day», «2Moro», «2NYT», «AFAIK» (as far as I know), «ATB» (all the best), «BAU» (business as usual), «BRB» (be right back) and other. Besides, try not to overreact and save your speech pattern as close to your natural as possible.

#2 Start With General Phrases

Any successful conversation, even online, should be built on mutual respect and cause more positive emotions than negative. Being creative and inventive is always highly appreciated, but at the begin, it is better to use general phrases to figure out more about a person you talk to and hisher preferences, peculiar properties. Psychologists and experts on relationships recommend to establish communication, gain trust and just then start talking about private life or different issues. Remember, that you should not try to get into the soul of someone or criticize the actions of another person. It is very easy to mess up communication with a careless word or a strange reaction to messages, so stick to some restrictions at first. Also, do not ignore people you like, because it makes just misunderstandings and spoils relationships.

#3 Be Patient

Everyone wants to get attention, especially if we talk about relationships. Sending messages we suppose to get a response immediately, but, unfortunately, this is not how it works. Sometimes our interlocutors do not have time to answer, have no mood to talk or communicate with someone else. In such situations, we start thinking out and consider that the problem and a reason for ignorance are provoked by our behavior or actions. The truth is that a problem is in our heads because of low self-esteem or fear to lose contact with a partner. The best way is not to think too much about these people and understand that they also work, study, or are busy.

#4 Keep a Distance

Messaging on dating sites has some specialties, including the language barrier, taboo topics, international misunderstanding, and differences in mentalities. To avoid such problems, it is better to read reviews on dating websites in advance and know about all difficulties you can face on such platforms.
Here’s the list of the most reliable and effective dating sites that have all the needed tool for you to have a good online dating experience:

The problem of the language barrier is common, but you always can use translation programs or applications. The main issue of cultural misunderstanding should always remind you that there are taboo topics and problems (politic, religion, armed conflicts) that are forbidden for discussions. Besides, it is really important not to criticize somebody’s points of view or world perception.

#5 Don’t Show Off

While messaging with an unfamiliar one people want to look and seem better than they are: smarter, kinder, funnier. Because of this, they try to talk on topics they are not interested in or persuade the other person in something. Such tries are often unsuccessful and have negative results. Being not who you are never working. If you want to find a person you will feel comfortable with, there is no reason to pretend somebody or try to make an impression. The best recommendations for communication online are to show interest but do not require too much.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do Such Platforms Really Work?

Yes. There are hundreds of couples that were matched thanks to dating sites and are happy in real life.

How to Become a User of a Dating Website?

The dating sites are usually very easy in usage. To become a customer, you should register and buy a membership or choose a special plan.

What a Dating Website Can Offer?

The main aim of every dating website is providing communication and help people to find partners for communication, dating, marriage, or friendship.

Are Dating Sites Safe?

It depends on the site you choose. The Internet is a world platform with millions of useful and malicious pages, so it is better to choose a site with a good reputation, feedback, and reviews. There are the best sites for dating: Charmerly.com, AsiaCharm.com, LoveSwans.com, UkrainianCharm.com.

Feedbacks from users of dating platforms

Dave, 21

I would say that modern problems need modern solutions, and online dating has something to do with it. This is a great chance to find a friend with similar interests and spend time with pleasure.

James, 25

Firstly, I was afraid to write to someone. I had an obsessive thought that girls would not like me or would not answer, but everything worked out just great!

Alex, 21

If you think that it is easy to communicate online, you are so wrong. All people are so special, that even messaging demand great efforts


You, exactly you, deserve the best. You should not think it is something wrong with you just because of your unsuccessful private life or some guy/girl said that you are not good for him/her. Do not be afraid to try something new; make your life better and brighter than it is. Online dating platforms offer you a great selection of girls and guys on every taste from different countries with various interest and inner lives. Also, many of them are fully legal, have support teams, and promises the absence of scam, spam or extortion of money. Love, peace, support, romance can be found on the Internet as well in real life and become a part of your life.